That Was A Bad Idea... (OPEN)

[Anna]

Anna heard whistling coming from several deadites and turned around to hear a fat slob say," Hey there sweetie, how about we have fun?" Anna laughed and said," Sorry, not my thing." And she did a spin kick beheading the deadite. After she did this she still heard whistling and sighed. Damn perverted demon spirits.

Anna heard the nun boy say quit cussing. She laughed and said," Alright, nunny, don't get your panties in a wad. I will lay off of it, your holiness" As she did this, she did several slashes with her sword killing several deadites who continued to whistle at her. "Alright, the whistling is kinda annoying. Makes me feel like I am at a frat party." She did a flip and spinned in the middle killing several of the deadites.

After she landed she laughed and said," Should we not be leaving this bummer of a place? To close the portals. Nunny, throw us some of your silver. I can handle a couple portals myself. Maybe you should give the freakin book to some genius to find how to destroy it. Plenty here." After she did this, a frat boy deadite whistled before attempting to grab her. A swift motion was heard as her left heel went straight through the deadites chin and spun removing the head. Great, they are all perverts as well.

After she did this, she noticed a flat chested woman came in and started to throw fire magic at the deadites. Great, a flat chested pyro magic user. Just great. GREAT. As long as she does not catch my hair or dress on fire. And I will be fine. She laughed as Ash said that it being blessed did not matter. Like they really are blessed. Seriously. A couple memories started to flood into her head as she thought of the nun-boy. Her memories recalled the fact that the old nun who beat her at the boarding school. As this memory happened, she crushed two deadites heads quickly with ease. Both of the deadites cried as she did so.

[Albert Wesker]

Wesker shook his head. "Oh dear me..." he mused. "They seem to be quite physically strong, mostly invulnerable, and quite durable and resistant to damage..." He faked panic, waving his hands up by his shoulders in mock defeat before plunging one fist through a Deadite's skull. "I know how to defeat them and make them stay down, for a while, at least," he said with an icy undertone.

"Don't think to imply you know more than someone you don't know. Zombies they may not be, but nothing, regardless of what it is can hope to survive without a brain." He pulled his fist out of the Deadite's head, splattering brain matter and blood onto the ground. "Or is that theory squashed as well?"

He did a leg sweep and cleanly severed one leg of a Deadite, then did a fierce panther fang, his fist tearing through flesh, skull and brain in one brutal strike. "And as for their so-called durability and strength, it's laughable." He tore out nearly the entire face and the front portion of the brain of another Deadite with a tiper uppercut, and delivered a kick to knock one Deadite stumbling away, only to find itself disemboweled and missing its brain the next second.

He paused in his assault as he heard what sounded like explosions, among other things, and felt a temperature increase several times. Which could only man, from the odd, barely perceptible scent in the air... "Magic..." he mumbled. "Wonderful."

"Hey, egghead, you gonna just stan-BWAG-" Even the Deadite's sound of pain was cut off as its head was split clean in two at the jaw, followed by a roundhouse kick which sent it flying across the bar and into a group of other Deadites putting themselves back together.

He sighed. "And now a mage arrives on the scene... Any more unorthodox characters who would care to show up? All we're short of is a sasquatch and a tunneling bird, and we'd be a circus sideshow..."

[kingofoneliners]

In the middle of a Deadite infestation, the nun man, apparently named Bridget, apparently decided to throw a little fit. First he went up and got pissy faced with the bitchy goth girl... Not that Ash could really blame him, she was a tad annoying... Then, he had to come and get in Ash's face about his name, all snarky and sarcastic. "Alright, alright... Bridget, why don't ya get back to fighting the Deadites, and stop having a God damn hissy fit... How the hell was I supposed to know yer name? I had to call you something to differentiate you from goth girl and egghead... Christ..."

Then, someone new popped in, blowing Deadites up left and right, and going off about how he was the Chosen One. "Oh, great... Just what I need, someone else telling me about my great destiny... Look, I'm glad you're here to help, doll... But, I don't exactly need anyone telling me about how I'm the 'Chosen One'... I've known long enough to know I don't need to be reminded every time this damn book decides to play games..."

"I'm not letting this book out of my hands, babe... You have no idea how dangerous it is. There's no way to destroy it, and no way any one else can be trusted to hold it. Least with me, this is the worst that can happen... Put it in someone else's hands... Ain't nothing good coming out of it." Not that she was actually listening. He'd already explained the dangers of the book, and even the new sorceress or whatever knew he was the Chosen One... Some people just can't comprehend the world around them, is all.

"And, Egghead... Great, get as arrogant as you want. Tell me I don't know anything about these Goddamn Deadites... No, as a matter of fact, they don't need brains. Like I said, they aren't zombies, they aren't caused by science... They're pure, walking evil... They only leave when the right incantation is used, or when they get bored... And they usually don't get bored." Why the guys in suits were always the most arrogant, Ash had no idea... But, he did know he always loved it when they got themselves killed proving how much smarter than him they were.

And they always got themselves killed.

[Bridget]

Bridget had stopped talking now. The man seemed to actually stop with the irritating nickname and he smiled. He then took a regular stance, tilting his head to the side with a smirk. His blue eyes lightly lidded. "I mean after all, you wouldn't want me calling you Stumpy or Gargantuan Jaw, would you?" he spoke quietly and under his breath. Then swinging out a yoyo with a chainsaw blade running around the edges as he swung it around gracefully taking out each deadite that got within a foot of him. He then went up to Wesker. "Umm, how'd you get that strong?!" he asked amazed at the very strength he had killing this things with his bare hands.

Bridget knew this guy had some sort of super-powers, he was easily killing each of these things without even breaking a sweat. Bridget still worked with the others, taking down any of the deadites he can.

[Lina Inverse]

((OOC>> I'm working under the assumption that everyones within line of seight of eachother but if I'm wrong I can edit this post as Lina's about to address the group btw if I AM wrong please note the correction to my Lucy account))

Lina seemed to strike a nerve by calling this guy "Choosen one"

"It's not like I choose my nicknames eather guy" her sentance interupted by a Deadite that she saw out of the corner of her eye "FIREBALL" one quick fireball made short work of the deadite with a loud explosion

"but please dont call me "doll" It's Lina Inverse" Lina was being polite in her reply to Ash as in her mind she has been called worse then "doll" such as "Flatchested" or "Dragonspooker" which she knew was short for "Dragons step past out of revulsion"

"Flatty Flat Chest!" One of the deadites shouted as he lunched at Lina with lust in his eyes "Fireball!" was Lina's reply... the fireball collided with the deadite in mid air... the deadite then landed in a smoking heap of pieces "MEGA EXPLOSION ARREY!" thenew spell cast caused a massive explosion underneath the Deadite and two that just happened to be standing next to him throwing the deadites in the air and in pieces the one that was already blown appart was blown further appart...

"FIREBALL!" Lina launched one upward at the head of the Deadite who DARED to call her "flatchest" and when it collided the pieces of the pieces were blown appart...

Lina then looked to Bridget "Little girl you really should pay more attention to the fight at hand and stop oggling the creepy guy in the suit" Lina said directed at Bridget and refering to Wesker as the "Creepy Guy"

"You should take your own" The Deadites words were cut off by a swift lick to it's chest which sent it tumbling backward "FIREBALL" that followup blew it appart

"and creepy guy...could you actually TRY" Lina said addressed at Wesker

"Damn it take your own advice!" one of them yelled "MEga Brand!" a collum of fire erupted underneath the deadite causing it to be incenerated...

"And you...gothy girl could you be less casual" she said this time addressed at Anna...

"I wantsome of the flat chested girl" one deadite said "I'm sick of you fucks!" Lina shouted in a rage "FIREBALL!" a fireball blew up the deadite that made the Flat chested comment "MEGABRAND!" a collum of fire errupted underneath that deadite "Mega explosion arrey!" an explosion caught two other Deadites in the blast radius

"Diam Wind!" a powerful burst of wind magic errupted from Lina's hands toward the deadite she was overkilling which also caught 2 others...the wind drove the deadites through a building with such a force that their bodys were shreaded...

((OOC>> Yes during a portion of this I was showing off with Lina =D))

[Anna]

Anna laughed a little and just smiled. As she smiled, her hands reached out and grabbed a bottle of 131 proof liquor took a sip and sprayed it into the fire Lina created causing it to expand and kill several other deadites as well. Anna could smell the repugnant smell of burnt flesh as well as the voices of all of them bitching about it. She continued to drink a portion of the liquor and laugh a little. " Don't worry. It takes more than this to get me drunk. Have a good healing factor, allows me to metabolize alcohol quicker than you. And just suggesting it, S-Mart Chosen One, Ash. "

After she said this, she did a back flip and smiled as she landed. But she was not paying attention and felt a deadite grab her right arm and ripped it off creating a torrent of crimson and pissing her off and dematerializing her blood back to a liquid form and causing several seven foot spikes of blood to emerge from the floor impaling the deadite. " Great, just great. ONE OF THE DAMN FUCKERS JUST RIPPED OFF MY ARM! Sorry, nunny, but just really pissed me off." After she said this, she reattached her arm and let it heal. All the blood around her then gathered onto her forming a blood armor.

Anna then jumped into a huge group of deadites. Deadites heads were being thrown everywhere from her rage at her arm being ripped off. Screams of pain were heard from the deadites as she did so. The deadites started to fall down with the emergence of a loud noise approaching the bar. Anna could smell it, it smelled exactly like the deadites here. " I think we need to hurry up. Something big is coming and it reaks of this things. I mean, badly. Really badly. And flatty, I think I am doing a good job as it is. And you better get your magic ready. Something big is headed this way." Right after she said this, a wall was busted down by a huge ogre looking thing walking towards them with a hand on his shoulder.
(OOC: Hope it is not un-deadite like and thought the evil hand should come back.)

[Albert Wesker]

Wesker grumbled something unintelligible in response to Ash's words, but said nothing aloud in response. He did, however, pause momentarily when he noticed Bridget. "How cute..." was the thought that went through his mind. Referring, of course, to Bridget's curiosity and apparent amazement.

"How I got so strong is a complicated process," he said. "I'd be glad to explain-" He tore through another Deadite's head. "-but later." He turned away from Bridget and planted a swift panther fang into a Deadite's chest, knocking it flat, before he turned its head to mush with a swift windfall.

When he heard Lina's comment about wanting him to actually 'TRY', Wesker sighed, but smiled. "You want me to try? Very well then. As futile as it is, I shall do so..." And at that, it took only a few seconds, and every standing Deadite was headless, and most of those heads were splattered into bloody pudding. "Should buy a few moments or so, yes?"

As the wall was torn down, Wesker raised an eyebrow. "Well, things just got interesting."

[kingofoneliners]

So, now the sorceress wanted to be called by her own name, too... Really, these people seemed so focused on their names, none of them had even bothered to ask his, course... He'd told them he was Uncle Ash without being asked, not like they couldn't have simply said their name, without complaining about the way he spoke, or the way he described them...

Not that it mattered now, that some Deadite Guardian had broken a nearby wall down. Sonsabitches did nothing but cause trouble... Course, it was what he got for reading from that damned book...

"Alright... These guys look big, but they ain't so tough... Take it from me, I've taken more than my fair share of these fat asses down in my day... Couple good shots of boomstick in their face, down they go... So... Bridget, focus on the regular Deadites moving around, keep them distracted... Goth girl, just don't piss anyone else off, please... Egghead... Just... Don't hit any of us, just... Don't... And, Lina... You go ahead and just flame broil this bad boy, while I tenderize the meat!" As he spoke, Ash quickly reloaded his boomstick, a surprising feat, considering he had only one hand.

That was when he noticed the dismembered hand... It wasn't his, he'd recognize that bastard anywhere... No, this was just some hand, sent to taunt him... "When I'm done with this ordeal, I'm using you as toilet paper, you worthless book..." Ash muttered at the Necronomicon Ex Mortis, even as he aimed the boomstick, and blew up the hand, almost entirely forgetting his plan in his need to remove the worthless, random extremity.

"You wouldn't dare!" The Necronomicon Ex Mortis shouted in anger and fear, never sure what, exactly, Ash was really willing to do with it...

[Bridget]

Bridget nodded towards Wesker, his eyes peered on the new person, she kept calling Bridget 'little girl' It was grating, because of his short size and small frame he was often mistaken for much younger... Not to mention mistaken for a girl as always. He then also noticed at the same time noticing a giant ugly looking Deadite crash through the wall. He looked at it nonchalantly and sighed. "Oh shit..." He then retracted his yo-yo's weapons and used it to smash a nearby window, grabbing a shard of glass carefully as to not cut his hand. Bridget then ripped the bottom of the dress he was wearing slightly to give him something to hold the shard with. He often held back and never used deadly force but these things were not alive and seemed to be sent from hell so he had no issue sending them back.

Ash seemed to call out to tell him to distract the rest of them. He nodded sweetly and then turned to a small group that seemed to appear. They were looking ravenous and evil, ready to consume the soul of him. He had a smug yet adoreable look on his face as he held the shard downwards in his hand for a stabbing position. He heard one shout to him. 'Hey honey, how about this little girl come sit on daddy's lap?' the deadite then gave a menacing laugh that shook through Bridget's chest. He was fearless now and that deadite taunting him just pushed him over the top in his rage. He cartwheeled over and did a forward flip onto the deadite's shoulders, grabbing the head between his knees and then leaning back, severing the neck of the deadite using the makeshift knife and then back flipped off, ripping the head from the shoulders and tossing the head into a trashcan with his legs. He then smirked. 'Aww, blow your top? Don't worry, happens to the best of us.' He smirked and then turned before he bumped into another deadite, grabbing him and attempting to crush the life from Bridget. He then headbutted the deadite and used his slender, yet powerful legs to push him away and into the rest of the group.

[Lina Inverse]

((OOC>> If you guys dont mind Lina's gonna kill the Deadite Guardian but I'll have a new threat show up in this post as well))

Lina clearly heared Anna refer to her as "Flatty"

"How dare you call me a" Lina's sentance was cut off by the giant ogre like being that crashed through a nearby wall...LIna despite being enraged by being called "Flatty" by Anna still relaized the new foe would have to take priority...

Lina was also shocked at what Wesker could do "wow he's strong" she caught herself muttering those words before listening to Ash's strategy plan

Lina's favorate part of Ash's plan was the flame boil it part...she already had a simmular idea herself "GIGA BRAND!" was her only reply causing a towering inferno to errupt underneath the giant creature's feet... the towering flames did do signifigant damage to the creature but Lina had a followup planned "DIGGER BOLT!" a bolt of lightning shot from her fingertip toward the giant creature further cooking it..... the result was supprising as moments after the electrical current inside of it's body disipated...the Deadite Guardian's head explodedin ashower of blood,brains, and skull fragments

"And that takes care of that" LIna said with a smug expression "Now Gothy girl about what you said!" Lina was once again cut off by a loud screeching...

overhead there were ten Gargoyle like creatures that arrived

"These things just keep coming" Lina said out of frusteration as one of them tried to swoop down toward Bridget "LITTLE GIRL DUCK!" Lina shouted at Bridget then followed it up with a "FLAIR ARROW!" causing several impacts with the gargoyle like being causing it to explode...

((OOC>> If I recall werent there demon gargoyles in Army of Darkness? also I hope the Bridget thing is okay since Lina didnt see Bridget be badass and I thought Lina would try to help Bridget weather he needed it or not))

[Anna]

Anna laughed as she saw the flat chested one get mad and explode. Worked better than I thought, should make this so much easier for us now. Just have to be ready to beat her ass afterwards. Anna did a backflip when she noticed several gargoyles flying towards them.

Anna lowered her blood armor and extended it into a huge blood chain and swung with ease at the gargoyles killing them upon impact and sighed. That is when she noticed two more Guardians headed towards the bar from the wall. Great, more of those damn thing. After she noticed this she sighed. Great, next they are gonna do is the deadites are just gonna come back together.

After she thought this, she noticed that was happening. Fuck, what the hell? Why did I think that? " I think we need to quit concerning ourselves with constantly kill this...... frackers and try to close the portals? Don't you agree, me S-Mart Chosen One or are we just gonna kill these freaks for the next couple of days?" After she said this she stared at Ash and moved at astonishing speed easily beheading several of the deadites that were reformed and finished with a spin kick completely removing six heads in a second.

"Anyway, flatty, I think it worked well don't ya? I got you to kill one guardian for us. You mad is so much fun. I mean, it isn't my fault you are flat chested. Just turn the anger at the neverending army of deadites." After she did this, she watched one of the deadites run towards a bus. Oh, please damn say they can't drive. As she thought this, she heard the engine start.

" FUCK! Sorry, nunny, but I think we are in a heap of trouble. I think one of them was a bus driver and we about to get rammed by one." Anna then walked outside and saw the bus headed towards them with the deadite laughing. Anna then ran at full speed and focused all her blood armor onto her fist and slammed it with full strength into the bus causing a dent but not stopping it. She then focused the blood and extended it to a long spear like form and felt the bus stop. Damn, that was fucking annoying. As she was outside, she saw swarms of gargoyles appearing. We better hurry up or we gonna be overrun by the deadites. She then walked back in with the smell of gasoline reaking off of her.

[Albert Wesker]

Wesker smirked slightly at Ash's comment directed at him. He didn't say anything derogatory about it, because it was quite a legitimate concern. Not many would want to be hit by him. "I would tell you my name as well, but it's of little matter," he said, with a slight chuckle. 'Egghead' was far from the worst misnomer he had been given, and so he could put up with it. For now, at least...

He nodded at Bridget, and went about clobbering the Deadites again. "Not that this isn't fun, but perhaps a more permanent solution should be carried out with some expedience." Even Wesker had his limits, and excercising his full strength for so long would eventually tire even him out. It would take quite a bit of time, yes, but eventually it would begin to show.

He was less than amused at Lina's display of roasting the guardian, and just shook his head to show it. "Wonderful... At least the spellcaster isn't a pyromaniac," he said with a seemingly bored tone. But he was FAR from bored. So many, many people with such interesting powers, and infinite possibilities... Oh yes, infinite possibilities indeed... But that was for another time.

He raised an eyebrow at the entrance of two more guardians. Oh, this was getting fun. "The stupider they are, the more they rush toward violence, it would seem." It was true in his experience, at least. And Deadites seemed to follow that same rule. And soon enough that stupidity would have them dead.

[kingofoneliners]

Looks like this group wasn't so useless... They actually listened and managed to take down a God damned Guardian... Of course, they were too focused on complaining about moving ahead, while staying still and waiting for more Deadites... Some people, just can't think ahead... If you want something done, you have to do it yourself... A lesson Ash took to heart.

"No, it's fine... I'll just go take care of all the portals, you guys stay here complaining about how you want to move on, but can't or whatever... Totally cool by me..." Ash muttered sarcastically, as he took off on his own. Stopping at a nearby Jewelry store that had been conveniently opened by a blast from someone's boomstick, Ash stuffed his pockets full of silver, before running off into the city.

Running by each vortex, he tossed a silver coin here, an earring there, a ring over that way, eventually sealing all the portals. Feeling that the big issues was taken care of, Ash went back to where the others had been whining about moving on, and took out the Necronomicon Ex Mortis. Despite the books whining, Ash opened it to the right page, and began to read out loud, "Klaatu Verata Niktu!"

And with that, the Deadites were gone. In a moment of triumph, Ash tossed the book aside to turn to the folks who'd tried to help him. "Ha... I told ya we just had to toss some silver into the vortexes so I could say the magic words... But you couldn't do it, could ya? That's why I'm the chosen one!"

[Bridget]

Bridget finally sighed in triumph as he saw the Guardians go down, his eyes closing and breathing heavily, panting and with a smile curled onto his face. He then removed his hat, straightening up his long flowing blonde hair and sitting on the ground, his face looking fairly happy that there wasn't any deadites near him at this point in time. Suddenly he heard a screech from one of the flying gargoyles and was grabbed by his waist, tipped upside down struggling and thrashing. "Get off me... NOW!" he tried to writhe and get out of the grip. Ash had since left. He hoped something would get rid of this demon.

He then felt something odd happen and the demon dropped him, landing on his feet he found the hat to his costume and put it back on, straightening his dress out and looking around, mostly looking at Lina. Now focused on seeing Ash return. "Okay, maybe you did good... Doesn't stop you having an ego the size of Russia." he folded his arms slightly and smirked, happy enough the demons seemed to be gone. ((OOC: Adapted our idea a little Lina, made it easier to fit into with Ash closing the portals and so on.))

[Lina Inverse]

((OOC>> That's okay the plot point was still established =D btw I should also have Lina address Anna since there is likely a fight going to break out between Lina and Anna))

when Bridget was picked up Lina while prepairing to launch a flair arrow was caught off guard at what she saw... a pair of small black sorts...with a defined...buldge?

soon after the Gargoyle along withthe other deadites were beaten by Ash's speaking the incantation but what Lina saw was more shocking then anything she had seen before in her mind... "Your...a Your....a YOUR A BOY!!!" Lina said with her voice showing how shocked she was at that revilation... her finger pointing at Bridget and her hand shaking...

Lina's eyes were wide with shock as a cold sweat broke out on her cheek... "How is this possible" Lina thought to herself "She's a HE" this thogh repeated inside of Lina's mind...

soon Lina began muttering it as well "She's a he" "She's a he" "She's a he" "She's a he"...this was especally shocking as Bridget looked more feminine then even Gourry and he's someone she got to pass off as a woman a few times...

Lina then stood up streight and looked to Ash with a smirk "and here I thought you didnt like to be called "Choosen one" but you did do a good job" Lina thought she should give credit where credit was due... she then turned to Bridget... the look of shock returning to her face

"May I ask your name little gi...boy" Lina was so used to calling Bridget "Little Girl" that it almost slipped out again...

then of course there was Anna...someone who Lina felt like she owed an asskicking... the thought of Anna's comments on her chest enfuriated Lina...her face turned again to that of pure rage... "And you Gothy Girl...dont think I've forgotten... 'Flatty' huh no one get's away with that so I hope you still find me being angry to be fun after this" she then fully turned to face Anna "MEGA EXPLOSION ARREY!" as Lina shouted this she thrusted her hands toward the ground and this would cause a large circular area of ground underneath Anna to explode...

((OOC>> Crim just remember Lina owes Anna an asskicking and she always pays her debts))