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Post by Jill Valentine on Mar 17, 2010 17:37:17 GMT -6
Tommy has said that his friend's really don't like the fact that he knows their character's without consent, and that the fleet was destroyed when it wasn't...
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Post by Catwoman on Mar 19, 2010 19:13:37 GMT -6
Ok....ease up on the powers. Only Palpatine and Yoda have THAT much power behind them....and if that's the case then apply for one of them
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Post by elliotspencer on Mar 20, 2010 1:11:10 GMT -6
Just a few things, Jason...
Firstly, I'm not sure why there're two apps? I'm assuming the second is the main, yes? If so, would you mind editing it into the first one, and removing the second one, just to make it a bit easier to follow?
Secondly, I know that Revan and HK would prefer that your character not be so strongly tied into their characters history and current situation. What they mean is they'd prefer for him to not be on Revan's fleet or on the Star Forge from his beginning, as he really has no ties to Revan, being an OC... If he were to meet and join their cause in an RP thread or something, that'd be different, however, for his history, I'd recommend altering it to where he has no ties to the fleet or Revan, except maybe basic knowledge of who he is. It's just that it's rather difficult to make an OC character and tie them into a canon, like you're trying, since, despite this history and RP sample, only you really know anything about the character... It's really the same reason that OC children of canon characters are generally frowned upon.
Thirdly, I understand that he's a Sith and what not, but I think it might be worthwhile to flesh out the powers a bit more, since, especially being based in KoTOR, there are varying degrees of mastery over the powers, and I'd recommend explaining how adept he is with the powers, that way, you might be able to give him the powers you originally wanted to, as long as you explain how well he can use them (for example, if I were to make an OC Sith, I'd probably have him be a master of Force Lightning, able to electrocute several enemies at once with one use of the skill, whereas he'd have only basic usage of Force Choke, able only to push them down, not really cause damage or send objects flying around. I'd also fully avoid any powers like Force Persuade or anything like that, but that's just me, I generally don't use powers that can control other characters, lol.)
Anyways, once that's all taken care of, I assure you, he'll be accepted. Sorry if this seems strict or whatever, I assure you, it's just to make it easier to make sense of everything!
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Zadeto Dekra
Villain
Marauder
"The darkside will over come all!"
Posts: 90
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Post by Zadeto Dekra on Mar 21, 2010 18:50:50 GMT -6
Zadeto Dekra[/color]
Franchise: KOTOR Canon: No Custom Title:Maruader The Basics[/size]
Real Name: Zadeto Dekra Alias: Secret marauder Alignment: Villian, Was first a jedi but is now not taking either ones side. Age: 25 Gender:Male Family:Deceased Special Abilities
force Push- Is able to throw things as fast as a soft ball with the force.
Force lightning-can only target one enemy and use it for a short amount of time
Death field-can target several peoepl at once and steal the life out of them. This being able to target mutiple enemies is weak against a single opponent. Thus it is not very usefull unless surrounded by people. Will cause the victum slight discomfort, noxia, and possible fainting.
throw lightsaber- can throw his lightsaber up to 30 feet and still call it back.
Force jump-Allows him to jump large distanceces using the force, up to fifty feet.
Knight speed-Basicly makes him close to three times as fast as he normally is in and out of battle.
Zadeto is a much more combat ready person and is more skilled with a lightsaber and blasers then he iswith the force though he does have a pretty high connection with the force. Weaknesses
All Weaknesses here Is a normal human and has no special powers other than being force sensative. Thus bullits and other means will damage him if they make contact. Brief History [Spoilers][/size]
As a young child he showed a very strong connection wih the force though he also showed an abusive side. He picked on kids at school and made fun of them. He terrorized younger kids and normally made fun of alien species.
He was seen walking home by a jedi. This was afterMalak had over thrown Revan and the jedi was looking for an apprintace. The jedi took Zadeto on as his apprentice feeling the dark side in him but that small flicker of hope inside Zadeto made Jedi Master Kilane try harder than she ever had.
As Zadeto grew older and matured hatred continued to build and store up inside of him. During a training seesion with his master Zadeto unleashed his anger on her. He fled as quickly as he could. He was so determined to fullfil his master dieing wishes he managed to stray away from the temptations of the sith for a while.
Though now he closely stalks there presence seeing what they do and the fter shocks of there actions.He now went in search of Revan. He followed there hyperspace trail just far enough away to not be scanned by long range sensors. Sample Role-Play Post[/size] Member Information
Hello! My name is Jason and I have been a member on The Grey Divide since awhile. The other characters that I role-play are: disease. I hope you eat me!!!
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Post by elliotspencer on Mar 21, 2010 23:09:50 GMT -6
Alright, you made the changes I requested, and the new history seems to be in order. So...
ACCEPTED.
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